I recently listened to the audio book by Trevor Noah Born a Crime. Besides being full of endlessly entertaining stories, there were many words of wisdom the young Trevor shared. One that stuck with me was the power of language in creating connection. Even when two people appear to be different in many facets, if they can share a common language together, there is a meaningful bond created that says “ah…you aren’t so different”.

French is one of the most common languages used in Morocco for business and government. As my IBM assignment will most certainly be with the local government and likely to involve business then it is very likely that the people I will be working with  will speak French. As such I’ve decided to take heed to Trevor’s advice and learn the language.

For me this is a big deal. While I live in Canada I’m actually American. My only exposure to French growing up was in high school where I barely managed a passing grade. Fortunately (or unfortunately), where I live in Vancouver British Columbia, French is rarely spoken. So I’ve never felt obliged to put much effort to learn the language.

One of the other reasons I believe I struggle to pick up the language is I believe I have a bit of a disability when it comes to hearing distinctions in sounds. I can recall a few years back on a trip in France with my family, sitting at a restaurant and being ridiculed by my two sons who were told they speak eloquent French – and with no Canadian accent. They had been in French Immersion school since five and I was quite proud of how well this appeared to pay off. However, they decided their credibility was now on the line when their own mother couldn’t properly say merci. So they tried to teach me the correct pronunciation. They would say it. Then I would say it. Then they would laugh. Then they would say it again. I would say it. They would shake their heads. Round and round we went until I finally gave up and left them to do all the talking going forward. But as they will not be there with me in Morocco and I really appreciate the challenge of building relationships quickly, I’m endeavoured to make a better go of it this time.

I find it fascinating (read frustrating) these small distinctions in language. There are the rules and then the pronunciations. Then the exceptions to the rules (don’t pronounce the “s” when it is at the end). The feminine and masculine. And let’s not forget the formal language vs. the slang version or phrases. Finally, you could have rules and accents that vary from one region to another. The US is a perfect example of that with the “Southern” states, where I am from, vs New York vs Texas vs Boston or Louisiana or even Cajun Louisiana. There is a different accent and phrases for almost every state that exist. And often we let these differences be the slippery path to further divide us.

Yet when we want to bond we are looking for what we have in common. I again think of my two boys who see their cousins from England once every year or so. And the first day of their re-connecting it is always the same conversations. Have you played this video game? Do you have this class in school? Do you have this drink or chocolate bar over there/here? And when they find something that is the same you see their faces light up just a little and smile. And when they find something that is different they get this strange look on their face and/or say “Weird”. Then they go back to trying to find the things in common.

I believe this is their way of reconnecting. Of proving they are family by more than just blood. Of reminding themselves that they like each other and of starting to recall all the great memories they have shared from past visits.

My hope is that by even me attempting to speak really poor French and being genuinely curious about my new soon to be client in Rabat, that I will pave the way to great memories for us both.

S’il vous plaît et merci! 😊